


Sail of the Second Ship

by catariaa



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (they're in different parts of the galaxy how is this not gonna be slow burn), Adult Trolls (Homestuck), Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Beiron Krewel, F/M, Legislacerator Terezi Pyrope, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Multi, Original Character(s), Original Species, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Third Person, Past Tense, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Possibly Unrequited Love, Rating May Change, Short Karkat Vantas, Slow Burn, Sober Gamzee Makara, Subjuggulator Gamzee Makara, Threshecutioner Karkat, check author's notes for other ships to be added, quadrants
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22092301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catariaa/pseuds/catariaa
Summary: He's a top threshecutioner with a big secret. She's had enough of crushing on him from a distance. But how's that going to work out for her when they're on opposite sides of the galaxy? (note: the hiatus is ending soon lol)
Relationships: Gamzee Makara & Karkat Vantas, Nepeta Leijon & Equius Zahhak, Nepeta Leijon/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. A Mutant Threshecutioner

**Author's Note:**

> !!!!read the end note for info on update frequency and news!!!!  
> ships and other things that will show up later but arent tagged yet:  
> -redrom arasol  
> -blackrom vriskeridan  
> -maybe palerom vrisrezi?  
> -ashenrom erisol mediated by kanaya  
> -black-red double reacharound sober!gamzee (black for tav) and tavros (red for gam)  
> -sober!gamzee (because good things don't last forever)  
> -beiron x leader as a minor ship idk though

He was, against all odds, a threshecutioner. To have made it to this night was to have had the utmost care and precision, that his blood be unrevealed by the unwary opening of a stray vein, followed by a cascade of candy red against his grey skin. The surname he bore, "Vantas," was a faint yet booming echo of the teachings of his ancestor before him, a certain "Sufferer," whose symbol he wore on his clothes: off-putting for sure, but certainly nothing cull-worthy, and generally concealed by tough battle attire. In spite of his short stature and apparent thinness, he had become one of the 612th Squadron's top soldiers during his nearly three sweeps of service with them.

On this night, the seventh bilunar perigree of the fifth dark season, Karkat Vantas could've perished due to a mere paper cut on his finger. As he was filing away cluttered and dated paper documents at the behest of the Squadron's Leader (not every duty of a threshecutioner is glamorous after all), the edge of a single sheet skimmed his skin at just the right angle, creating a shimmering line of mutant blood to mark its path.

"FUCK," he swore under his breath, typically unaware that everyone else in the room could hear him. "DON'T MIND ME, JUST A PAPER CUT," he added, turning around to face the other three occupants of the room, then turning back. "HURTS LIKE A KICK IN THE BULGE, THOUGH."  
  


"NEEd a bandagE, Vantas?" asked Beiron Krewel, an indigo-blooded wild card with a penchant for snide remarks, subject to mixed feelings from Karkat and others. "Or am I rEally supposEd to bEliEvE that Mr. MystEry Flavor ovEr hErE has bEEn woundEd in battlE?" Vantas was notoriously good at two things: not getting stabbed and being secretive in regards to his blood color. He was thought by most to be an insecure lowblood, but others had different ideas. Thankfully, Krewel was among the latter group, and she suspected nothing.

"OH FUCK, YOU ARE _NOT_ HELPING IT, KREWEL. YOU AND YOUR UGLY UNDERSIZED BULGE-LOOKING HORNS ARE PRACTICALLY HOLDING A PYROJAVELIN UP TO THE UNCOOPERATIVE FACE OF MY WOUND, YOU EVERLASTING PAIN IN THE NOOK." A droplet of red spilled onto the corner of the page, which Vantas swiftly ripped at the edge, barely leaving the paper's data unscathed. "SHIT! FUCK!"

"What's wrong, got a cabErnEt stain on your filEs? Hah!" Krewel joked. Ironically, cabernet and wine in general had only been recently discovered among trolls, and the beverage was thus considered a delicacy; furthermore, Beiron had spilled actual cabernet sauvignon on her papers one season prior to this night.

Suddenly, right when Karkat had wiped the last of the blood from his finger and was preparing a comeback to Krewel's cold rhetorical blow, the intercom came on, filling the dimly-lit starship backroom with a distinct and familiar pair of dissonant beeps, followed by a tinny announcement:  
"BEEP//Attention all 612th Squadron personnel: report to the main deck in the appropriate attire as soon as possible: we are approaching an uncharted star system exhibiting signs of intermediate civilization-class intelligent life. Repeat: report to the main deck in the appropriate attire as soon as possible.//CLICK"

"I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU TO FUCK OFF, BUT NOW I THINK MAYBE WE SHOULD BOTH FUCK OFF," Karkat told Beirun, already getting up to fuck off to/leave for his quarters. He left for them and donned the classic threshecutioner attire: a high-tech black bodysuit, one which would normally be marked with his sign and his position on the hemospectrum, but was left blank at his request. After he had finished gathering his weapons and putting on his uniform, Karkat Vantas knew that a long night was waiting ahead of him as he walked.


	2. An Exile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta talks with Equius about some things she's been keeping from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this and the previous chapter at like 1 am please pardon any weird incoherence here n there >_<

She was, like Vantas, exceedinly lucky not to have been culled at nine sweeps. She lived on only at the behest of her devoted moirail, the semi-famous executioner-turned-roboticist Equius Zahhak, who, in an unanticipated move mirroring one taken countless sweeps prior, refused to kill her when she was brought before him. They were both ten sweeps of age, and she had been found guilty of evading her conscription into the recently-formed oliveblood Imperial Clawsassins, in spite of the famed junior legislacerator Terezi Pyrope's eloquent defense of her. Though she was spared, her savior still had to make an unpleasant bargain in order to keep her alive: she, Nepeta Leijon, was to be exiled to a distant cave offworld, where she would have to fend for herself in solitude, save for her lusus and tablet husktop. This ending would have been more bitter than sweet if she were unable to keep in touch with Equius and her ten other favorite sufferers of the troll disease called friendship, no matter how distant her friends might've become.

Nearly two more sweeps had passed since Nepeta's exile, and she was having a rather typical night alone in her cave, leaning against Pounce de Leon, who was in turn curled up cozily against a painted wall, inscribed with an ever-changing menagerie of hypothetical and actual relationships among her friends (more often the former, though). One thing always remained constant, though: a detailed drawing of her embracing a certain mutant-blooded threshecutioner one whom she hadn't spoken to in numerous perigrees. In the meantime between her last message and his next answer, she decided to pester a troll whom she last spoke to under twenty-four hours ago. After all, even thinking of messaging Karkat again made Nepeta very nervous. So, she messaged her moirail instead:

> * * *
> 
> \--arsenicCatnip began trolling centaursTesticle--
> 
> AC: :33 < *ac sl33pily crawls over to ct*
> 
> AC: :33 < *shes a little tired but still pawsitively fixed on greeting him*
> 
> CT: D--> I guess I will go along with these anti% once more, though I find it strange that you still resort to them on a regular basis
> 
> CT: D--> *The magnificent hoofbeast CT turns his head to the side to 100k at the drowsy face of AC, with his magnificent mane flowing in the slight breeze*
> 
> AC: :33 < thats the spirit equius! :33
> 
> AC: :33 < *ac rolls over and nuzzles her meowrail*
> 
> AC: :33 < *she starts to mewse about a question she has for him*
> 
> CT: D--> *CT wonders what the query might be this time around*
> 
> AC: :33 < *ac begins to tell ct her pawstulate*
> 
> CT: D--> A most e%ellent pun, dear Nepeta
> 
> AC: :33 < thank you equius! :33
> 
> CT: D--> Now, what is your question
> 
> CT: D--> My most sincere apologies for the change of topic
> 
> AC: :33 < so i was wondering...
> 
> CT: D--> Do continue
> 
> AC: :33 < is it still pawsible for me and karkitty to
> 
> AC: :33 < you know...
> 
> AC: :33 < be a thing?
> 
> AC: :33 < ive just been meowsively crushing on him for years and i thought maybe i should finally try to make a meowve for a change! :33
> 
> CT: D--> Oh, Nepeta, I fear that the answer is neigh
> 
> AC: :33 < awww! but why? :cc
> 
> CT: D--> As much as it pains me to tell you this, you are three sweeps too late
> 
> CT: D--> As far as chances go, the two of you may literally be on different sides of the galaxy
> 
> AC: :33 < i guess youre right about that :cc
> 
> AC: :33 < but ive been saving up money from my clawmissions!
> 
> AC: :33 < i could buy a spot on a cruiser ship and find him!
> 
> CT: D--> That seems a little lofty for an e%iled recluse of your sort, Nepeta
> 
> CT: D--> Once again, as much as I hate to admit it, it's too late for you two
> 
> AC: :33 < :cc
> 
> CT: D--> Wait
> 
> CT: D--> Just a flipping second
> 
> CT: D--> Pardon my foul language, dear
> 
> CT: D--> By "clawmissions" do you mean "commissions"
> 
> AC: :33 < yeah! clawmissions! ive been doing them for about a sw33p now!
> 
> CT: D--> Why did you omit details of such 100d interactions
> 
> CT: D--> You are still living in e%ile, remember
> 
> AC: :33 < its not lewd or anything though! the lewdest thing ill draw is just people kissing! and only with clothes on x33
> 
> CT: D--> Such sloppy makeouts are still quite 100d and scandalous, Nepeta
> 
> CT: D--> You should be ashamed of yourself
> 
> AC: :33 < oh wait i think you mightve actually paid me to draw this one of a hoofbeast? ive been meaning to deliver it but i forgot who requested it! :33
> 
> AC: :33 < thanks for helping me remember equius! :DD
> 
> \--arsenicCatnip sent centaursTesticle file "sillyequius.png"--
> 
> AC: :33 < lol! i even wrote one of those short little poem things on it like you asked me to! x33
> 
> CT: D--> Oh
> 
> CT: D--> Fiddlesti%
> 
> \--centaursTesticle ceased trolling arsenicCatnip--
> 
> AC: :33 < *ac giggles uncontrollably*
> 
> * * *

Nepeta laughed at the matter for several more minutes after her moirail disconnected, but once she finished and caught her breath, she realized that he was probably right: her plans were probably too grandiose and perilous to accomplish, as much as she hated to admit it, to herself or anybody else. She did believe that Equius had been a bit too up-in-arms over her commissions, but he always got upset over her most minor transgressions, after all. A little side hustle never hurt anyone though, right?

However, her thoughts quickly began to drift once more to, of course, a certain charmingly cranky threshecutioner. She'd been meaning to update her painting of the two of them together; that is, if she knew how Karkat looked at nearly twelve sweeps of age. Instead, she still based his appearance on how he looked in a very dear picture, the last group photograph taken of her and her eleven closest friends before they went their separate ways. In this photo, she was the closest one to Vantas: the closest she'd ever been to him, even with an arm draped over his shoulder. She remembered when it was time for him to part ways with the others to fulfill his training as a soldier. It had felt as if he was gradually floating away into the sky, and like she had been the only one who could've held him down. But alas, when he took his first step over the horizon that night, he was gone forever, Nepeta thought. She really should've taken her chance.

A single tear rolled down her cheek, only to be wiped away by the side of her familiar blue hat. Her lusus purred to comfort her, but it was futile in comforting her. The rest of the night was a blur of sad thoughts and general melancholy, continuing on and on until finally, Nepeta began to tire out, and her thoughts at last became sleep, which in turn became bittersweet dreams.


	3. A Soldier's Burdens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As his Squadron's ship approaches a planet populated by strange creatures who call themselves "Llamas," Karkat decides to troll an old friend who has, to say the least, been changing for the worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is some implied violence in this chapter and also some scary sober!gamzee but i dont see it as anything warranting a tag since it's not graphic or even described in any level of detail so i guess here's a warning for a bit of implied violence. and some angst. just letting you know, avid reader.  
> (an additional note: long-necked woolbeasts = alternian alpacas, if that wasn't already obvious)

Karkat Vantas stood as a single point within a vast matrix of highly-trained warriors, struggling not to take even a slight glance out the window and into space as he and the others awaited further instruction. The couple of glances he could feel bouncing off of him every once and a while went unacknowledged. He and every other experienced threshecutioner knew to remain still and orderly until the Squadron Leader, a somewhat stuck-up sea dweller, had had his final words. And, from the looks of things, he was indeed about to have the last word on the matter:

"Greet1ng2, 21x hundred and twelfth 2quadron," he said, followed by a dozen or so murmurs of neophytes without any experience in etiquette. Little did they know that they would have to learn it the hard way. "You'd 6e2t qu1t your talk1ng 6efore 1 personally and publ1cly rat you out and exclude each and every one of you from th12 m1221on." The talking subsided almost instantaneously. The Leader kept going:

"Alr1ght, now hat you 1ncompetent gru62 are orderly, let'2 get down to 6u21ne22, 2hall we?" The crowd agreed to the Leader's proposition silently and unanimously. So, he continued, and spoke in his trademark low baritone, playing up the slight nasal quality of his voice to convey a sensation of ever-so-slight irritation, yet also to sound like a seasoned senior authority, which he was.

"2o, 1 2hall now g1ve you your mandatory 6r1ef1ng, 6ut do 6e aware-AHEM, new recru1t2- that 1 may 2top at any t1me 1f you get even the 2l1ghte2t 61t rowdy." He paused here to gather his thoughts, then, at long last, gave the briefing itself. "2o, fellow thre2hecut1oner2, l12ten carefully: we have tentat1vely du66ed th12 2y2tem'2 pr1mary 1nhab1ted planet, wh1ch we w1ll 6e pr1or1t1z1ng accord1ng to 2tandard procedure, the 'Land of Long-Necked Wool6ea2t2 and Cla221cal Arch1tecture.'"-A couple snickers from the audience.-"Ye2, 1 can hear you laugh1ng, and ye2, 1 can also hear the 2l1ght 2queak1ng 2ound that my 6oot2 are go1ng to make when you 2h1ne them, you 1mpudent larvae."-Silence.-"Now, on th12 planet you w1ll encounter a rather affluent race of 2trange al1en2 who apparently call them2elve2 'Llama2.' They appear to 6e peaceful, 6ut 1t 12 po22i6le that the1r 2p1t 12 cau2t1c, ba2ed on 1ntercepted commun1cat1on2. Thu2, our 1n1t1al approach w1ll 6e d1plomat1c and nonv1olent, 6ut don't get too fr1endly: remem6er, we're here to conquer, lad1e2 and gentlemen. Anyway, we w1ll arr1ve 1n a6out s1x hour2. Unt1l then, enjoy 2ome downt1me. Except the dozen or 2o of you who were laugh1ng earl1er: come to my off1ce. You know who you are. Otherw12e, thank you very much to the rest of you.

He stepped down from his odium and took a deep breath of air. Soon, the room around the Leader was full of off-topic discussions and clustered cliques. Karkat, however, remained alone, only exiting what precious little was left of the previous block formation when an ochre-blooded junior cadet, probably only nine-ish sweeps of age, approached him from the side and cautiously tapped his shoulder twice to get his attention.

"'s-scuse me sir i mean mister vantas uhh could i ask ya' a question?" she sputtered, noticing Karkat's higher rank yet equal stature.

"SURE, GRUB, I MEAN, NEOFFA," Vantas answered, still recovering from the anger of the prior minor irritating incident that could've meant his culling. He looked the girl in the eye, and she seemed to be trying to form a sentence, but she seemed too nervous to say anything. "COME ON, I'VE HAD A ROUGH NIGHT ALREADY, JUST SPIT IT OUT, DAMMIT." He began to frown a bit as Neoffa finally managed her question:

"a-are we gonna havta _kill_ anybody now mister vantas?" she asked at last.

Karkat looked at her like she was crazy. Her disheveled appearance, mangy hair, and blunt horns (rather atypical of her blood caste) just made matters worse, and Karkat had the fleeting idea that she might actually be a little crazy.

"OH, HA HA HA, NICE ONE," he answered dryly, "I AM PRACTICALLY SHITTING MYSELF RIGHT NOW! YOUR COMEDIC PROWESS IS EITHER INCOMPARABLE OR OINKBEASTS CAN FUCKING FLY! WHICH ONE IS IT?"

"u-uh neither mister v-vantas," Neoffa replied meekly, "it was a r-real question sir mister vantas i was bein' serious. p-please tell me are we gonna havta kill anybody now?" Then, without any warning, Karkat immediately dove into a tirade:

"OH, FUCK, YOUR SINCERITY JUST MAKES THINGS SO MUCH WORSE, FARMSTINK. YES, GOG DAMMIT! THE ANSWER IS YES, YOU LITTLE FUCKING PURE ANGEL OF GRACE! NOW, PLEASE, GO SCREW OFF TO SOMEWHERE ELSE SO THAT I DON'T FUCKING POLLUTE YOU WITH MY WORDS OR SOMETHING. GO!"

Neoffa walked away, speechless, not knowing that Vantas was in reality somewhat serious about not wanting to pollute her with his words: the last thing he wanted was for another person to be like him, a self-deprecating loudmouth with anger issues; that is, that was how _he_ saw _himself._ He had been taught early on in his training that new recruits should learn by example from their superiors. So, he did the best he could by making sure that nobody had to learn by his example, one which he regarded as a terrible path to follow, taking care of as few junior cadets as possible.

Suddenly, Karkat jolted as he remembered that there _was_ someone that he _did_ have to take care of: Gamzee Makara, subjuggulator in training, religious fanatic, and, perhaps worst of all, an incredibly high-management and draining moirail to Vantas. Without much notice, Karkat scampered off to his headquarters, opened his husktop, and booted up Trollian right away:

> * * *
> 
> \--carcinoGeneticist began trolling terminallyCapricious--
> 
> CG: GAMZEE. WE NEED TO TALK.
> 
> CG: YEAH, AGAIN. I KNOW.
> 
> CG: GAMZEE, ARE YOU THERE?
> 
> CG: FUCK, I GUESS NOT, THEN.
> 
> CG: ALRIGHT, GUESS THAT I'LL LEAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU, THEN.
> 
> CG: GAMZEE, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, LISTEN.
> 
> TC: bro. dont worry.
> 
> TC: BECAUSE IM RIGHT MOTHERFUCKING HERE.
> 
> TC: honk honk :o)
> 
> CG: SWEET MOTHER GRUB OF JEGUS YOU FUCKING SCARED ME.
> 
> TC: AS I SHOULD, BEST MOTHERFUCKING FRIEND. :o)
> 
> TC: once again, honk honk motherfucker. :o)
> 
> CG: GAMZEE, I'VE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT YOU EVER SINCE YOU WENT SOBER AND GOT IN BED WITH THAT WEIRD SUBJUGGULATOR FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE CULT A FEW SWEEPS BACK. I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT A FUCKING FAYGO CAN WITHOUT WANTING TO CRY LIKE I'VE JUST BEEN HATCHED.
> 
> TC: AND JUST WHY ARE YOU WORRIED?
> 
> TC: im better than ever. :o)
> 
> CG: NO, YOU ARE DELUSIONAL. YOU CAN'T JUST BRAG ABOUT CULLING INNOCENTS ALL THE TIME. YOU HAVE TO STOP THIS.
> 
> TC: HELL MOTHERFUCKING NO.
> 
> TC: this shit is my motherfucking birthright
> 
> TC: AND I WILL NOT ALLOW ANYTHING TO INTERFERE WITH MY MOTHERFUCKING MESSIAH-GIVEN JOB.
> 
> TC: that includes you, palebro.
> 
> TC: IS THAT MOTHERFUCKING UNDERSTOOD?
> 
> TC: honk honk :o)
> 
> CG: OH JEGUS. I CAN'T DO THIS, GAMZEE.
> 
> TC: BUT YOU HAVE TO.
> 
> TC: see you tomorrow night motherfucking best friend :o)
> 
> TC: HONK
> 
> \--terminallyCapricious ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist--
> 
> * * *

Karkat immediately felt unfittingly drained. What his husktop's clock informed him had been about seven minutes of conversation felt like an entire perigree of hard labor; not only that, but under the lethal Alternian sun, too. He shut his eyes hard and tried to wipe the terrible vision of Makara's brutal crimes from his mind's eye, but to no avail. However, he refrained from weeping any red-stained tears, since they would be dead giveaways to his forbidden position outside the hemospectrum. It was abundantly clear to him that he absolutely had to clear his head.

He had something of a vague routine in place for cooling down in times like these: first, deep breaths, then, silly crap on the Internet, sans any drama or vague sad garbage (especially on Imperial networks); finally, a rinse of the face, just for good measure. So, in accordance with his three-step technique, Vantas took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself down. He was never sure whether breathing through the nose or the mouth would quell him more effectively, so he would breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, which worked just fine for him. Then, having done this for a couple of minutes, he pulled up a tab of Prongle and started to smile with a paradoxical combination of nervousness and calm. He browsed through a feed of lighthearted memes and soothing, picture-perfect graphics, specially curated for situations like this one. Overall, the strategy was a well-oiled machine.

There was one thing he saw before washing off his face which did surprise him somewhat: an aesthetically pleasing and quite oddly familiar sketch of a two-mouthed purrbeast (a lusus, perhaps?), reposted be an artist he had followed a couple of weeks prior. Intrigued, he checked the creator's account and felt a nagging feeling about its anonymous owner. Finally, he got up to wash his face, of course, but not before sending her a message.

* * *

"IS THIS NEPETA'S ACCOUNT? IF SO, NICE ART. -A FRIEND"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, i thought i'd add a quick guide to quirks from the fantrolls:  
> -beiron: PropEr punctuation, spElling, and capitalization, but always capitalizEs thE lEttEr "E," no mattEr whErE it occurs.  
> -squadron leader (yet to be named): Al2o ha2 proper punctuat1on, 2pell1ng, and cap1tal1zat1ion, 6ut replace2 the letter2 "b," "i," and "s" w1th 6, 1, and 2, re2pect1vely.  
> -neoffa: uhm r-real normal if i may so say myself! aint got any capital letters and also a lotta run ons and shes kinda n-n-nervous all the time oh yeah and a lil bit of rural twang and southern alternian hospitality too yknow?  
> -the main 12 trolls' quirks (and that of the condesce, if she shows up) will remain strictly canon compliant.  
> stay tuned for more updates! thanks for the kudos! <3

**Author's Note:**

> depending on whether im in school or not, updates will be irregular. i'll try and get at least a short chapter out every two days or so if i have at least a bit of spare time on my hands. if i have to take a hiatus due to exams/heavy workloads, i will leave a note in the summary or some other visible spot.


End file.
